When I was a kid, the idea of Santa Claus coming on Christmas Eve and dropping off presents was both exciting and perplexing. We didn't have a chimney and being the inquisitive type, I remember never getting a satisfactory answer as to how Santa got in the house. I believe the word "magic" was thrown around a lot and I guess I figured if he knew everything, then he also knew how to get into the house.
And even though I begged to go see Santa at the mall when I was little, I don't think I have a single picture of a happy me sitting on Santa's lap. The closer we got in line to the big jolly fellow, the more uneasy I felt and when they perched me on his lap, I don't think I ever felt like this was someone who knew me well, he was just a stranger. As an adult, I finally get it. Santa is creepy.
I mean seriously. This is a grown man who knows where you live, if you've been good or bad, and he sneaks into your house while you're sleeping. There's a word for that: stalker.
So if you've ever felt a little uneasy about the oversized jolly old elf, this carol on the fifth day of the coder's Christmas is for you:
- Santa Claus is Coming to Get Us (F22, Delusional disorders [includes paranoia])
